Saturday, March 27, 2010
Vision of Receiving
I wanted to share that I woke the past Monday morning feeling like I was in a different reality, which is common for me. This one was not a familiar feeling and I could see another world within me. A man in a rob and beard held out a child swaddled in a golden fabric. I reached out and took the baby. What does this mean? Is this the start of acceptance? Or does it mean nothing? The truth of remembering it and needing to write it down is meaningful enough. I will continue to see what unfolds in my conscious conception journey.
Conception Acceptance Still Active
About four months have passed since the conception acceptance started. Meaning... December was the conscious awareness to be sexually free and more bold. To not use any protection method or even worry about it. To share in meditation and sacred healing to invite our cosmic baby.
It feels like it has been 10 years since we started and so much has happened in the past four months. So many feelings of not pregnant and also feelings of having another month to prepare for the possible conception. I have mixed feelings and I do want a baby, but I also worry about making a living. I am not sure how I can pay for my life and not work. I need to feel secure to feel open and receptive to receive. I want to trust in it all, but the past year or more have shown me too much struggle and I am getting caught in the old way. Today I feel many possibilities of change. I need a huge change to shift the old thoughts and ways to see the gold pot at the end of the rainbow. If, I cannot trust in my heart then what do I have?
I am learning in each month my period seems to change and I become more relaxed and less cramps with ease in my menstruation. I feel like I am building a new relationship with my moon cycle to honor my flow, be in my experience, feel my belly, be aware of how I feel physically and emotionally. I have a choice and sometimes I forget that I do in life. I can choose to get stressed and believe I am unable get pregnant or allow my heart to make clear choices and let it all unfold. What will be next?
It feels like it has been 10 years since we started and so much has happened in the past four months. So many feelings of not pregnant and also feelings of having another month to prepare for the possible conception. I have mixed feelings and I do want a baby, but I also worry about making a living. I am not sure how I can pay for my life and not work. I need to feel secure to feel open and receptive to receive. I want to trust in it all, but the past year or more have shown me too much struggle and I am getting caught in the old way. Today I feel many possibilities of change. I need a huge change to shift the old thoughts and ways to see the gold pot at the end of the rainbow. If, I cannot trust in my heart then what do I have?
I am learning in each month my period seems to change and I become more relaxed and less cramps with ease in my menstruation. I feel like I am building a new relationship with my moon cycle to honor my flow, be in my experience, feel my belly, be aware of how I feel physically and emotionally. I have a choice and sometimes I forget that I do in life. I can choose to get stressed and believe I am unable get pregnant or allow my heart to make clear choices and let it all unfold. What will be next?
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