A spark of honesty and grounding reality

A great book that can trigger feelings about birth and conception from a Birth Psychology, Pre/Perinatal Psychology, and Spirituality perspective called Soul Trek by Elisabeth Hallett. The book cover says meeting our children on the way to birth. It explores pre-birth communication through the actions of meditation, dreams, day visions, and full of curious experiences of pregnancy before, during, and after from women and men.

It is a sweet reminder of the intuitive being that each human is and how it is the right of all people to know there divine connection. Judgment, fear, criticism and skepticism are all healthy reactions for this topic and well received. The book is written great with detailed stories of women and men sharing there pre-birth experiences. No story is alike and that is what makes the energy of the books so appealing because people are not cookie cut outs, but unique souls with a spark of honesty and grounding reality.

For me the story showed comforting reactions of faith, trust and love. I even had this feeling of heat move down my lower body as I read about a woman knowing in that moment conception happened. Or that a certain day was the day to have sex to conceive by just feeling it inside without physical evidence. I could feel that awareness for myself.

I am open to the shifting of energy when my soul baby is ready to join me in her or his platinum ray light and grounding in a new consciousness for all humanity. I had this feeling that spring equinox will be a lightening of the energy for grow and new energy to enter, but for now this energy is not in this space. I will not make it a quest to conceive out of stress or goals nor will I use the statements "I am not pregnant and have been trying." Somehow that statement loses the mystical experience behind it all. In encouragement of spirit - I am very fertile, like a youthful golden flower and the seeds of change will blossom on its own time with love and care. Peace until next time!

Trusting the Heart

My mind has quieted enough for me to feel the alignment of living my life with an open heart to conception. My past months have been a struggle with fears of wanting, control, sadness, and confusion. Why am I not prego? What are these body feelings? Could I or couldn't I be? Too many mental questions and it was exhausting. I have forged an understanding of the psyche and spirit. That my spirit is the wise one and my psyche...well can fool me often.

In those experiences I did learn many things. I learned that I am a trusting and intuitive being with pregnancy or without. I am done with that silly fertility stick. My partner thought it was a great idea and I was even accused of doing it wrong. You can't do it wrong! Pee on stick and read. How simple. That is what happens a fight over it. What I discovered was it put pressure and lack of trust on the process of allowing conception. It works for others, but it depends on the consciousness and for me...I was not happy thinking that science was controlling my outcome to conceive. That somehow a stick would be the guarantee that I would be pregnant and it is not. Just because someone is fertile does not mean they will be pregnant.

So, I will continue to be open sexual and lustfully in beautiful actions of creativity with my partner. In that, I will enjoy life and keep posting my thoughts and feelings on my journey.

Fertility Stick?

What a strange thing? It is a stick you pee on everyday after your period to tell if you have enough hormones to conceive. All the women do this and it is the rage. It works! Or at least that is what everyone is saying, so my partner said "lets try it out." He is so eager to get the baby experience going. My reaction was let’s just let be sexual and free with less control. Make it a mystery and see what happens. Am I thinking too much about it, but it feels controlling, but at the same time it’s just a stick? So, I am experimenting with these magic sticks. I know when I am fertile and it will be next week…the third week of the month. So I pee on a stick and it continues to say negative for conception and I am not surprised.

This desire to get pregnant does play hard into my mind. I am working on releasing the need to be pregnant soon. I notice an extreme...when I was young I avoided pregnancy like the plague. I did believe it was the worst thing ever and today I am so wanting it to happen with ease and great blessings. The ability to change and create new choices is such a divine present. I am receiving body energy therapy to remind me of clarity and divine connections. Thank god for healers!

Grieving the Arrived Period

I once had a natural doctor (Dr. Michele) tell me that she picked up this information about me through an intuitive outlet; She said that she felt a sense of loss when my period arrives each month because that “could have been.” That “could have been feeling,” was the possibilities of a baby. I never thought of it consciously, but inside of me I could feel her words resonate in some kind of teary eyed connection. I have always known in my heart that I wanted a child someday. I have had many fears come and go around the topic of conception and birthing.

I have been practicing conscious conception experience for 4 years and like marriage I wait until it feels right and not because everyone else is doing it. The 6 year engagement was what we needed and when the time arrived we married in style. It was a spiritual affair or otherwise known as a destination wedding that landed us in Cebu City, Philippines. Life has a plan and having faith by trusting in the larger part of the human experience is what is being held in my heart. I do admit I am more then sad about not being pregnant and feel very blue. I fee very emotional today and cried a bunch to find peace and let go by listening to my pain. I also received an angelic healing session and mediation to sooth my soul. I do feel much better.

December and January were the start of the sweet openness of unprotected sex and waiting for the new soul to arrive with hopes and dreams of it becoming a reality very soon. My emotions are preparing for something and every month since I have had very abnormal body issues of feeling extremely uncomfortable and very emotional. Before I would be ill every month before my period and had to see a natural doctor, which after a month cleared up and I would continue to see this doctor 1 week before each period. I discovered that I get to have the emotions before it arrives into my physical body. I wish I could say one was easier then the other, but both challenge my psyche. Will that ever change? I am not sure. My hormonal system is run by my energy field and a huge part of what makes me female. I continuously expand by releasing fears of what was and re-pattern into my reality an empowered female with love and self accept for who I am.