First Trimester Celebration!

The first trimester is about over and my meditation last night revealed a sacred native Indian ceremony. I layed in bed bringing in the light of awareness with my hands on my belly, and feeling relaxed as the nausea subsided.

I have been in suffering with the constant pain of nausea and worry that loomed over my mind. My belly feels sick and it brought dark feelings to the surface. Eating is a chore and my lower body is expanding pushing me into buying new pants, which I thought was too soon. My feelings of joy are resisted with complaining and a need to let go. A meditation was way over due and something I find myself doing more and more since pregnancy. Not just one time a day, but many times a day. Connecting to new energies and experiences.

I closed my eyes to experience the universe speak to me and let go of my thoughts. I had a clear and long vision. I sat in the middle of a circle of a tee-pee with eight wise women, adorned with fabrics of many colors with ribbons, shells in their long hair, and seemingly old faces not easily distinguishable. The energy of each was felt in such deep love and honor. In return each honored my courage and told me to stop living in the pain of my mind. I was told that I am getting too invested in pain and that becomes my reality and that it was time to move away from that. I really understood that message and needed to hear and feel it.

The ceremony continued and each unique women stood next to my arms and legs. My whole right arm was painted green and I was told it is "giving." My left arm was painted in lavender and it is "receiving." My right leg and left leg painted in orange and yellow. The women chanted over me. I was blessed for being a women with child and felt extremely supported by the ancient family of native Indians. A soul family that lives beyond this life into other lifetimes providing a reminder of my multidimesionality.

When the meditation was over I began to question how sacred and powerful a ceremony is for a woman going through different levels of womanhood. I want a spiritual ceremony throughout my pregnancy, and not just the blessing way I plan to indulge my soul in, but something addressing each trimester.

Transformative Self

My June pregnancy has been painfully transformative. My spiritual cleanse took so much energy from my mental and physical body. I was trapped by the nausea that would cripple me into not leaving the house or bed. Eating crackers, pretzels, bread and water was my enemy creating more pain in my tummy. Emotionally, I questioned the process of pregnancy and if I was ready for it all. A dark veil covered me with intense thoughts about death and life. I later realized that I needed to let this old part of me die in order for the new me to emerge.

Many wonderful women told me to hang in there and that it would be temporary and shared personal stories of physical pains and how it gets better. I was told some negative things also like it will be like this the first trimester and all I thought was 10 more weeks! My intentions proved everyone wrong. I intended to be less nausea each week and it has worked. I have felt the past years that I move through things with energy rather then the mind. Taking great care of my psyche, body, and spirit.

Today, I feel so much better and the darkness has lifted and with all the planetary changes I could see why things have been wild. During June and July I continue to receive and give myself energy therapy. I have discovered a new me that lives in action and desires to fully be aligned by my heart. I am showing as of yesterday. My little bump has seemed to come over night with the full acceptance of her energy within me. Will my baby kumquat be a she or a he? The soul walked around ungenderous with moments of boy and other of girl. Soon the connect will be strong for sure and baby will pick who he/she wants to become.