Pregnant?

Is it possible to feel the body starting to change after 1 week of pregnancy? Or is it wishful thinking or some bug? Most information available on-line about pregnancy says that it is too early to tell if conception is happening and that the ova and sperm are greeting one another uniting in a miraculous creation. Those first two weeks are not considered being pregnant and not until 3 weeks is it calculated. In the womb the organic tissues of cells are preparing a space of support, safety, protection, and a nurturing environment. Time will tell for sure.

Having a fever, tender nipples, bloated body, water retention, and fatigue? I had a rare fever in the middle of the night. I did not understand why because I never get fevers? I was not feeling sick. I researched it and discovered that sometimes woman get fevers without any illness in the first weeks of pregnancy. It is a way of balancing out the space. Does that mean I am pregnant? A test is too early to tell because you need a certain level of hormone for the stick test. So the stick test will be in 2 weeks and later midwife to confirm. It is best to test right before your period or just after I have read.

The reality of possibily being pregnant brought up many feelings? I suddenly was scared and unsure of how to feel. I was not excited, but fearful. I felt like I had lost control and I questioned how my body would adjust to it. Would I become helpless under the commands of a baby and what about me? I suddenly found myself with obsessed thoughts that constricted my mind and what I was craving was “the allowing” of this new experience. I can do it with fear, but I also have other options. I can do it with awareness, and recognize the fears, and move through it. Even my partner said to me, “I feel so protective of you and the baby,” and it scared him to feel helpless. He understand that he had to process his own feelings around seeing me not feel good and possibly being pregnant. It brought up this superman archetype, that somehow he needed to save the day, but he could not. He is learning to let go in more then just the process, but in other areas of his life. The journey has just begun into the unknown and uncertain world of new moments and new realities.